Awoke to a hairball on my pillow,
I found kitty litter in my shoes.
Have to give the cat a pill -- OW !!
And I've got the Rescuer's Blues.
A dog ate the kids' lunches,
(and I think the remote control, too).
My hair is clumped in bunches,
and I have a vet appointment at two.
I tell people I lost my husband,
they give me sympathetic looks,
actually he ran off with his garage band
and took up with a woman who cooks.
The dishes need a washing,
the laundry's stacked in piles.
A Chihuahua is alpha bossing
and has the Rottweiler riled.
Gotta call about a foster MinPin
and explained he'd need a neuter.
This idiot said he planned to breed him
Someone thinks testicles are cuter?
The electric could be shut off,
and I hope I don't sound crass,
but a bill collector just called me
and I told him to kiss my...
Someone found a bird,
asked if I would take it
with the worst sob story I've yet heard.
I haven't seen a dentist
in so long, I don't know when,
but tomorrow the old Basset
is having a dental at 10.
My figure, I have lost it,
my sanity's not far behind.
My new shoes have been peed on
and are missing the ties that bind.
I'm supposed to relay a dog on Sunday,
but don't know if I can afford the gas.
I count the minutes 'till payday
and the President can kiss my...
Someone found one in a park -
called to see if I had room for him,
here at "Noah's Ark."
(Always wanted a dog who can't bark.)
People ask me why I do this
and I just shrug my shoulders and smile.
The unconditional love of a slobbery kiss?
It feels good going the extra mile.
For some critters I have saved the day,
despite these Rescuer's Blues.
But I'm still hoping someone will rescue me
(that online dating service I think I'll sue!)
Jim Willis ~tiergartenjim @ yahoo.com